


I. Defining Normal

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-23
Updated: 2006-06-23
Packaged: 2018-09-03 08:16:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8704756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Dean is hurting after Sam's declaration he would be gone after they killed the demon responsible for killing their mom and Jess. First in the Defining Series.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

_**I. Defining Series DEFINING NORMAL (Supernatural D/S)**_  
 **Title:** Defining Normal  
 **Author:** Shorts  
 **Pairings/Character:** Dean/Sam  
 **Rating:** NC17  
 **Category:** Slash  
 **Word Count:** 1039  
 **Spoilers:** Shadow  
 **Note:** I guess the ep Shadow really bothered me more than I had realized. I ended up writing a short, second fic ( _ **not** _ a sequel to [Merging With The Shadows ](http://shorts7.livejournal.com/27381.html#cutid1)).  
 **Warning:** This is my attempt to rise above the irritation I'm feeling for Sam. _*not sure if I'm succeeding, but I am trying*_  
  
  
  
  
  
I. DEFINING NORMAL  
By Shorts  
  
Dean sat on the hotel bed, once again cleaning his guns which were already spotless. He found the simple act of taking care of them calmed him. It wasn't something he could explain. It just was. And at the moment, he needed all the calming he could get.  
  
Checking for any interesting news items on his laptop, Sam kept sneaking peeks over at Dean. Ever since they parted ways with Dad, Dean had barely spoken twenty sentences to him. And then, they were short and to the point. Basically, was he hungry? And that they needed to lie low until they both healed enough to deal with whatever they found next, not to mention the fact they would be hard pressed to explain the cuts on his face. Other than that, Dean had basically ignored him.  
  
Adding a touch more gun oil to his cleaning rag, Dean suppressed a deep sigh. He knew inevitably Sam would call him on his silence. But until then, he tried to come to grips with how things truly were between them. Eventually, he had cleaned all the guns, some of them twice. He methodically put everything away, aware that Sam was watching him.  
  
Sam gently closed his laptop and stood up from the table. He thought he might know what it was that Dean was stewing over, and the best way to get past it was to get Dean to think about something else. He came up behind him and wrapped him in his arms, lowering his head to place a soft kiss in the crook of Dean's neck. "You got to let it go, man. She might not have succeeded in killing us, but if you let what she said in the bar drive a wedge between us, she wins."  
  
"Oh, I think you accomplished that all on your own, bro," said Dean, shaking off Sam's embrace. "Give me some credit. You tell me enough times that you don't want to be here and I'll eventually get the message. The question is, why are you still here, Sam?"  
  
"Why do you think?" countered Sam, taken by surprise. "I'm here to destroy whatever it is that killed Jess. That's the whole reason I picked up hunting again."  
  
"It had killed Mom first, and you walked away from hunting it down the first chance you got," said Dean, his voice low and hard.  
  
"That's not fair," said Sam, his eyes narrowing.  
  
"Never said the truth was fair, Sammy," said Dean. "Life throws you punches and you have two choices. You either take it and hit back, or give up and throw in the towel."  
  
"All I want," said Sam, "Is to destroy whatever it is that killed Mom and Jess. That's the only reason why I'm here now."  
  
"If that's true, why did you also pick up where we left off?" demanded Dean, crossing his arms over his chest. "You came willingly enough back to my bed. Not that I didn't welcome you with open arms, even when it was you that had left me."  
  
"One doesn't have anything to do with the other," said Sam, his face reddening.  
  
"Then explain it to me," pressed Dean, his anger rising to the surface. "Or am I just a substitute for those cold and lonely nights on the road?"  
  
"You know that's not how it is between us," snapped Sam.  
  
"At one time, I would have agreed with you," said Dean, no longer sounding angry, just tired. "You can't have everything your way and on your terms, Sam. Right now, I'm evidently good enough to be with because you need me to help settle a score. But as soon as we do, it's so long. If I really mean anything to you, you couldn't just walk away like that."  
  
"Why can't we both just walk away when it's done? Start a normal life without the constant nightmare waiting around the next corner?" asked Sam, his voice softening.  
  
"Because I don't fit normal," said Dean, sitting back down on the bed. "Normal is never knowing that evil is just under the surface. Normal is not sleeping with your brother."  
  
"Depends on your definition of normal," said Sam, sitting next to him. "Dean, we fit together. And for us, that's normal. There are guidelines that society tries to uphold, but those guidelines aren't capable of truly encompassing the individual soul."  
  
"What you describe as guidelines laid down by society, dude, has no room for two brothers to be together," said Dean, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.  
  
"As far as anyone is concerned, my brother is dead," said Sam, reaching up and placing a hand on the back of Dean's neck and giving it a light squeeze.  
  
"Sam, I know you," said Dean. "Your idea of the perfect life is a wife and kids. I will definitely never take on that role for you, and the latter is anatomically impossible."  
  
"I had thought that sort of life was exactly what I wanted," said Sam, grinning a little as an image of Dean in a dress with a kid on his hip flashed across his mind. "But as much as I loved Jess, on a sleepless night part of me refused to be denied. I'd lie there wondering why I was there without you."  
  
Dean shifted uncomfortably and moved to stand up, but Sam tugged him close. "None of this has solved the fact that we have two different futures ahead of us."  
  
"Dean, I'm the one with the visions and even I don't know what the future holds for us, so fighting about it doesn't make sense," said Sam, silencing his brothers' protest with a kiss before it could even form. He pressed Dean back until he was stretched out on top, deepening the kiss until a small groan of need escaped his brother.  
  
"You don't fight fair, Sam," gasped Dean, arching his head back as Sam worked his way down his neck.  
  
"All's fair in love and war," smiled Sam, sliding his hands beneath Dean's shirt. "You just have to remember we're on the same side." With those last words, Sam proceeded to wage his assault on every part of Dean.


End file.
